



I can’t believe this … Instead of giving me water (AQUA), they are staring at me with ridiculous faces and saying “isn’t he sweet …” Water man, give me some water when I am thirsty! I am only six weeks old and can’t say that stupid Q – can’t you understand that?! I mean, I am tired of adults being infatuated with infants and not giving them credit for inventing the most important words that YOU (adults) are using. Like the words “mama”, “papa”, “dada” (see dada movement in art), “oh”, “no”, “go”, “do”, “boo”, “uh”, “hmm …” (when you are thinking about a puzzle), “mmm … (when you like something), “ohm” (in yoga), … to mention a few. And we INFANTS first started using them. We actually INVENTED them! The bottom line is when I say “aua” stop staring at me with that stupid smile and please give me some water.
Luka started making semi articulated sounds like goo, goo, and aua. He is so sweet!
Mama and Papa

I know it is unusual but it can happen, right? I am like those Greek philosophers and I don’t want to be like them at least not now – the kids will make fun of me. I mean even adults in this country have no idea about Greek philosophers and not to mention kids. What did those philosophers do anyway? All they talked was about democracy and that is so unimportant here and now. Maybe I should take one of those pills for hair growth. We are all supposed to take pills at some point ... Propecia? But they don’t make such small pills for me. I would have to divide one pill into 20 pieces (according to my weight) or 200 pieces (according to my age). I am surprised they didn’t make Propecia for infants (given that they made Prozac for dogs).

This is my Auntie Mrim! She is one of the few people that can calm me down. Maybe because she sings to me French lullabies and you know French sounds really gooood. (I have to spend one afternoon and learn that French.) Anyway, Auntie Mrim has a beautiful daughter, Amelie – big blue eyes, oh … why am I so young … Amelie is probably more than 20 times older than me at this point. That sounds terrible! But I am patient and hopeful … I overheard when Auntie Mrim said that she is accepting offers – you know matchmaking …
It’s final – I am officially diagnosed as Mr. Colic! I saw my pediatrician about two weeks ago and he kindly referred my parents to “colic clinic” since I am not really the “case” for him and they “might” be able to take care of me. So on Monday, Dec. 17, we went to see two “shrinks”. All I really wanted was to get answers to some practical problems such as: 1) how to survive between two breast feedings, 2) how to tame this volcano in my stomach, and 3) how to control my brain (that feels like it is not yet mine). Instead of answering those questions, they asked if there were lunatics in my family and if my mother was on drugs when she was pregnant. You know, shrinks are shrinks no matter whether they treat adults, children or dogs (did you read that article about Eli Lilly … they made a Prozac for dogs! Unbelievable! I wonder what questions they ask them to diagnose depression). Anyway, what was I supposed to tell them? That there is always a first time for everything, including being Abie Normal?! Well, I didn’t want to say anything – there was no point. I just decided to be an angel. My parents were shocked and felt a little uncomfortable since they told them that I cried much more than 3 hours a day (that’s one criterion they use to label you as colic) and there I was patiently listening to their conversation (of course I wasn’t sleeping – I almost never sleep during the day). Well, the moment they put me back in the car I started my Rigoletooooo – they sometimes call me Luka DeVile …he, he, he, …
I got a lot of complaints for not writing for such a long time. I am really sorry for that but you have to understand me. I am only over one month old, my hands are small and I am supposed to type on these huge keyboards!? So I always have to ask my father to type things for me and since he was sleep deprived he refused to obey my orders. I had a long conversation with him today and explained certain things and I hope he gets it now: it’s not him that makes decisions anymore!